2020 Deserves Thoughtful Consideration

[Photo: Jude Beck on Unsplash]

Around this time each year, I typically reiterate that I’ve never been real big on New Year’s resolutions. And then I set about making some — or at least some sort of non-binding, loose facsimile of a resolution to which I most surely will attempt to adhere for at least three or four weeks.

In other words, a New Year’s resolution. But, like every other year, this year is different.

I’m not typically so pessimistic, but I have a sneaking suspicion that 2020 will be, by nearly all metrics, exponentially worse than 2019. The politics will ramp up, impeachment will unfold, and divisiveness will reach a fever pitch. There will be caucuses and straw polls and Super Tuesday and party conventions and debate after debate after debate. If recent history is any indicator, 2020 will likely bring dozens of mass shootings, along with the unavoidable natural disasters and manmade crises.

So, on that cheerful note, I’m preparing myself to step into what I fear will be a very tumultuous year with the understanding that much will be beyond my control. One year ago, I decided to get better-organized — and I feel like I succeeded. In 2020, I feel like I need to turn that focus inward and work on myself.

Which is to say that I need to spend more time bringing order to the things within my control.

I recently discovered a Fast Company article about seven podcasts to help you achieve your 2020 goals. And, after giving a few of them a cursory listen, I’ve decided I need to try to work them into my listening habits. While I’m typically a little resistant to anything self-helpy or woo-woo, I also realize that I need to get back to the mindfulness and meditation that I gave up five years ago.

Fast Company recommended, among others, “How to Be a Better Person with Kate Hanley,” NPR’s “Hidden Brain” podcast, “The Accidental Creative” with Todd Henry, and ABC’s “Ten Percent Happier with Dan Harris.” I found the latter to be particularly poignant.

Fifteen years ago, Harris was an anchor on Good Morning America when he had an on-air panic attack, a full-blown meltdown. He later called it his “on-air Waterloo.” Harris then turned his attention to the causes for his anxiety and wrote a #1 New York Times Bestseller, “10% Happier: How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works — A True Story.”

“Fifteen years ago, Harris was an anchor on Good Morning America when he had an on-air panic attack, a full-blown meltdown. He later called it his ‘on-air Waterloo.’ ”

While I’ve seldom admitted it, I too am susceptible to the same kind of anxiety and panic attacks that Harris suffered on live TV that morning. As a reporter, I’ve stood in crowds, paralyzed with fear (or something similar) of approaching a stranger — even for a benign comment about why they enjoy coming to the annual Renaissance Faire in Young Park or the Las Cruces Arts Fair at the Convention Center.

I know that this can be overcome, and 2020 is the year to quiet the voices in my head and tackle my fears. But this will involve examining them and getting to the root of those fears. As a self-admitted introvert, I know that the solution is — to some degree — performative. You have to “fake it ‘til you make it.” I’ve done it before.

But I’m hoping that, with some careful thought and attention, 2020 will be the year that I am able to take control of that which has held me back — and I can become ten percent happier.

Jeez. That sounds like a resolution, if ever there was one.

— Originally Published in the Las Cruces Sun-News, 01/02/20